Project Nine: Part Seven

The Survival Of Me And You: Part Seven

INT. INTERIOR OF FREDO’S CAR - NIGHT


The four of them eventually get into the car


HENRY CARTHRIGHT III: Fredo is a friend of a friend. He knows a guy who knows a guy who might want to help us

FREDO GAMBINI: Normally I’d charge you but when I heard it was President Bungle, I figure I’d help you guys for free

CHEROKEE BURUNDI: Just who is this guy who’s going to help us

FREDO GAMBINI: He’s a witch doctor of sorts. He’s also pissed that his clients are running out of money to pay him. He said that the last client offered him a baby goat because he couldn’t afford him. Now he has to feed the bloody thing. So the upside is that he will also do this for free. All you need is to pay for the hotel room.

CHEROKEE BURUNDI: All we have left between us is five Bungles.

FREDO GAMBINI: Don’t worry. I know a cheap motel. They might cut us a deal


INT. RECEPTION AREA OF CHEAP MOTEL - NIGHT


CHEROKEE BURUNDI: How much for one room for the night?

HOSTESS: All five of you in one room? What are you planning?

CHEROKEE BURUNDI: Don’t worry, it’s nothing illegal

HOSTESS: Ordinarily I don’t ask questions. I was just curious. That’ll be twelve Bungles

CHEROKEE BURUNDI: We only have five

HOSTESS: I tell you what I can do. It’s been a slow night. The last room at the end of the hall is the one room nobody goes near. It’s got termites and cockroaches and shit. It’s yours for five Bungles


Cherokee hands over the money


HOSTESS: Your friend doesn’t look too good.

ALEXANDER HOPSCOP: He just had one too many. He’ll feel better in the morning.


INT. CHEAP HOTEL ROOM - NIGHT


President Bungle is lying on a bed full of dust and the other four occupants are standing in the room


HENRY CARTHRIGHT III: She wasn’t joking. This is a dump. Even with the window open, I’m struggling to breathe.

FREDO GAMBINI: Don’t worry. My friend will be here in five minutes.

ALEXANDER HOPSCOP: Is he coming by goat?

FREDO GAMBINI: He’s a witch doctor. He has ways and means.



INT. CHEAP HOTEL ROOM - FIVE MINUTES LATER


There is a knock on the door. Fredo answers. 


WITCH DOCTOR: 28, AFRICAN DESCENT, BLUE EYES, WEARING A HEADBAND OF FEATHERS AND UNDERPANTS MADE OF FEATHERS, LEATHER SKINNED BOOTS, FIVE FOOT SIX INCHES TALL, BARE CHESTED EXCEPT FOR A NECKLACE FULL OF TEETH, CARRYING A GOATSKINNED BAG


FREDO GAMBINI: I asked for Getwald

WITCH DOCTOR: I’m his grandson. Getwald is busy. He’s watching a match on tv.

FREDO GAMBINI: Have you done this before?

WITCH DOCTOR: Technically, no, but my grandfather has shown me a number of times before. He also gave me a manual in case something goes wrong.

HENRY CARTHRIGHT III: What could possibly go wrong?

WITCH DOCTOR: I understand that you want to master his dreams.

HENRY CARTHRIGHT III: Well, that would be down to Cherokee.

WITCH DOCTOR: Ok, lets get started


He empties the contents of his bag onto the bed that President Bungle is sleeping on.

First, we have to consume the same potion. Then we have to put it under the President’s nose, then I through some leaves in the air and recite an incantation and then hopefully we will be able to influence his dreams.


CUT TO:

CHEROKEE AND THE WITHCH DOCTOR BOTH CONSUME THE POTION

CUT TO:

THEY PLACE THE POTION UNDER THE PRESIDENTS NOSE

CUT TO:

THE WITCHDOCTOR THROWS SOME LEAVES IN THE AIR AND RECITES AN INCANTATION



INT. WITHIN PRESIDENT BUNGLES DREAMS - NIGHT


President Bungle is dreaming. He sees a pink fog and through that fog are numerous hamburgers in the shape of a man. Through the fog more man-shaped hamburgers appear. He starts eating and eating. 


CUT TO:

THE PRESIDENT ON A GOLF COURSE AT A PAR FIVE HOLE. HE HITS A DRIVER FOUR HUNDRED YARDS, BUT IT KEEPS GOING AND EVENTUALLY ENTERS THE HOLE

CUT TO:

PRESIDENT BUNGLE FINDS HIMSELF IN THE COUNTRYSIDE, ONLY THE SOIL IS ALMOST LIKE SAND AND THERE IS NOTHING GROWING. SOME COWS ARE LYING LIFELESS ON THE LAND WITH FLEAS HOVERING OVER THEM. A MIDDLE AGED MAN APPROACHES. 


PRESIDENT BUNGLE: My throat is dry, can I have some water?

MIDDLE AGED MAN IN DREAM: Water? Good one my friend?

PRESIDENT BUNGLE: Why are you laughing?

MIDDLE AGED MAN IN DREAM: Here, water is like gold dust

PRESIDENT BUNGLE: Do you have a whiskey?

MIDDLE AGED MAN IN DREAM: If I had a whiskey, do you think I would share it with you? You are the main reason for all of this

PRESIDENT BUNGLE: Whatever do you mean?

MIDDLE AGED MAN IN DREAM: You should have listened to the scientists when they said there would be more extreme weather conditions. I’ve lost many of my friends and family because of you. You only have to endure the heat and the thirst for a minute or two.

PRESIDENT BUNGLE: You’re right. In a minute I will wake from this dream and I will go back to my comfortable palace and you will be left behind. I look forward to duck and monkfish and whiskey.

Ok. Snap out of it. I can’t take any more of this.

MIDDLE AGED MAN IN DREAM:  My Father used to say that the more difficult your life is the less you will suffer in the afterlife

PRESIDENT BUNGLE: Yeah, well I don’t believe any more in that mumbo jumbo than I do in this dream. Come on wake up.

MIDDLE AGED MAN IN DREAM: Are you hungry President Bungle? Perhaps you would like to eat from that dead cow with the flies eating off it or perhaps you would like to drink what milk remains in it.

PRESIDENT BUNGLE: How far is it to the nearest town?

MIDDLE AGED MAN IN DREAM: Virtually all the towns in this area are no better places than here. You can go whichever direction you want. It won’t make a difference.


President Bungle keeps walking and walking in the searing heat, sometimes with dust blowing in his face.

Eventually he collapses to the ground



EXT. BEAUTIFUL TROPICAL COUNTRYSIDE - DAY


President Bungle with three minders is hiking up a hill in a beautiful tropical forest. Up ahead is a golden palace.

President Bungle looks down below. There are farm animals grazing.


PRESIDENT BUNGLE: You see, when I supported the President of Offal to turn this jungle into agricultural land, people laughed, but this is progress.

GUIDE: This hillside could do with more trees. They don’t just serve one purpose of giving us oxygen. They have other uses. Insects and animals can live and feed off them.

PRESIDENT BUNGLE: Who wants more insects?


It starts to rain heavily


GUIDE: We should turn back

PRESIDENT BUNGLE: We’re almost there


The rain gets worse and worse until it creates a mudslide. All five man are suddenly sliding down the hill covered in mud. When they reach the bottom, only the guide and President Bungle are able to extricate themselves.


GUIDE: You see, the trees also protect the valley from mudslides.

PRESIDENT BUNGLE: When we’re done here, I’ll see that you are executed for your insolence.


The two men walk towards the village in the valley. They are almost waste deep in water. Some of the villagers mud huts are being washed away


GUIDE: We should head to the church. It is the safest and the sturdiest building. We can wait there to be rescued.


INT. CHURCH INTERIOR - DAY


The two men are still waist high in water. They climb a stairs to a second level where two dozen men women and children are sheltering from the storm. Most of them are shivering and there is fear in their faces.


PRESIDENT BUNGLE: Do you have any food? I’m hungry

GUIDE: No Mr Bungle, but there is plenty of water.

SMALL CHILD: Mommy the flood waters are rising


President Bungle looks out. The water is nearly up to the bottom of the second level.

A small boat comes to rescue some of the people


BOATMAN: Women and children first

PRESIDENT BUNGLE: I should go first. I’m President Bungle

BOATMAN: Here, you are nobody.


The women and children climb into the boat and it leaves.


President Bungle is anxious for the boat to return. The waters become higher and higher and the walls of the building start to creak.


President Bungle speaks to the guide


PRESIDENT BUNGLE: Save me and I will spare your life.

GUIDE: Only fate can save us now.


The building is swept away and President Bungle is stuck by fallen debris. When he recovers he finds that he is up to his neck in water and struggling to breathe. Unable to swim for very long he eventually submerges.



EXT. GARDEN OUTSIDE PRESIDENT BUNGLE’S PALACE - DAY


President Bungle approaches an old man who is using a breathing aparatus for oxygen


PRESIDENT BUNGLE: Father

AARON BUNGLE: I’m not your Father. I’m your grandson.

PRESIDENT BUNGLE: What is wrong with you? You look so frail

AARON BUNGLE: You did this to me. If you weren’t so self centred I might be able to breathe clean air. Every day there is less oxygen and more pollution. You could have stopped it and you didn’t. You once said that I was the heir to your empire but it may as well be an empire of dust.

PRESIDENT BUNGLE: (coughing) The air isn’t clear at the moment but I’m sure it will improve. You are a Bungle after all. You will get through it.

AARON BUNGLE: Spare me your conceited rhetoric. You’ve never really cared about anyone but yourself. You were the worst President of all time. Every decision you ever made was about you and not the wellbeing of your citizens.

PRESIDENT BUNGLE: That’s not true

AARON BUNGLE: Give me one example that showed you cared about your people and your country.


Aaron’s breathing gets worse. It looks as if he is about to die.


AARON BUNGLE: You may have another chance to save me. Take it.

PRESIDENT BUNGLE: Aaron!



EXT. BENCH NEAR PRESIDENTIAL PALACE - MORNING


President Bungle awakes on a bench near the Presidential Palace. He is a little shaken at first but seems relieved to find himself in familiar surroundings.


GUARD AT GATE: I’m sorry sir. I need to see some identification

PRESIDENT BUNGLE: What do you mean. I’m President Bungle

GUARD AT GATE: I’m sorry sir, but there can be shapeshifters about. We can’t afford to take any chances and it is unusual for you to be out and about without any protection


PRESIDENT BUNGLE: I’ll have you hanged for this.

GUARD AT GATE: Well it’s definitely you sir. Please go ahead.



INT. PRESIDENTIAL BEDROOM - 8:30AM


The First Lady enters the bedroom once more.


MRS BUNGLE: You’d better go. Conrad spotted my husband on the Palace grounds. You haven’t much time

FALLULAH AS PRESIDENT BUNGLE: Thank you for warning me.


Fallulah turns into a white mouse and enters the First Lady’s handbag. The First lady enters the bathroom and leaves her handbag up to the window. Once more Fallulah turns into a bird and flys away. 


INT. PRESIDENTIAL PALACE MAIN OFFICE - MORNING


Milton Harrison enters the main office. The President is seated at his desk.


MILTON HARRISON: Good morning sir

PRESIDENT BUNGLE: Milton, the last twenty four hours seem like a bit of a blur. Did I take anything yesterday.

MILTON HARRISON: You mean narcotics sir?

PRESIDENT BUNGLE: Yes

MILTON HARRISON: You never take narcotics sir.

PRESIDENT BUNGLE: Did anything out of the ordinary happen yesterday?

MILTON HARRISON: No sir. Why do you ask

PRESIDENT BUNGLE: I dreamt..

MILTON HARRISON: What did you dream sir?

PRESIDENT BUNGLE: Oh never mind. When is the climate change summit.

MILTON HARRISON: Why it’s tomorrow evening sir, but you said you didn’t want to attend. Have you changed your mind?

PRESIDENT BUNGLE: I don’t know Milton. I don’t know.

MILTON HARRISON: I thought you were of the view that its pie in the sky sir. Who cares about the future, you said.

PRESIDENT BUNGLE: Do you have grandkids Milton

MILTON HARRISON: The eldest is pregnant

PRESIDENT BUNGLE: Do you think they would hold it against you if the world changed for the worse.

MILTON HARRISON: By the time they hold it against me sir, I’ll probably be six feet under.


INT. MA BEANFIELD'S HOUSE - 9AM


Fallulah enters the house. Everyone else is accounted for and sitting at the kitchen table.


MA BEANFIELD: There you are. I was worried sick about you. These boys missed Ma’s famous supper last night and you nearly missed breakfast. Sit right down there and get it into you.


Moments later when all are seated at the Kitchen table


MA BEANFIELD: Well boys, you never told me what you got up to last night

HENRY CARTHRIGHT III: We just wanted to go out and party

MA BEANFIELD: Where did you go?

HENRY CARTHRIGHT III: Here and there

MA BEANFIELD: Well as long as it wasn’t illegal or anything

HENRY CARTHRIGHT III: No, Ma, it wasn’t anything illegal

CHEROKEE BURUNDI: I’ve decided to return to my family. I can’t do anymore here. I tried my best and my best wasn’t good enough

MA BEANFIELD: Well, it’s been a pleasure Cherokee. You’ve been a great kid.

Are you sure you won’t change your mind?

CHEROKEE BURUNDI: My parents are probably worried about me. I left them in a hurry They probably wouldn’t have let me leave. It was because of them that I left in the first place. I don’t know what I was thinking. I thought I could help them. It all seems so stupid now.

MA BEANFIELD: I’ll have to give you a pile of Ma Beanfields best scones and some apple pie to make sure you don’t die of hunger on your way.

FALLULAH: I guess sometimes one man can’t change the world on his own. Sometimes it takes a little bit of luck as well as a lot of effort. Whatever you decide, we’re your friends and you can always come back to us.

HENRY CARTHRIGHT III: Yeah. I hear Ma’s cooking gets better with age.



INT. PRESIDENTIAL PALACE MAIN OFFICE - MORNING


President Bungle picks up the phone and rings his grandson Aaron


KATHLEEN BUNGLE: Good morning Mr President

PRESIDENT BUNGLE: Good morning Kathleen. Is Aaron there. I believe it is his birthday after all

KATHLEEN BUNGLE: Hold on a second.

AARON BUNGLE: Good morning Grandpa

PRESIDENT BUNGLE: Happy Birthday young man. What age are you now?

AARON BUNGLE: Eight

PRESIDENT BUNGLE: You’re getting bigger and stronger. Pretty soon you’ll be running this country.

AARON BUNGLE: I got into a fight Grandpa. I got a black eye and a cracked tooth but Mom said the black eye will heal soon. It’s improved a little.

PRESIDENT BUNGLE: Was it that kid “Mat... Mat..” I’m sorry I never forget a name.

AARON BUNGLE: No it was my best friend Pete Sawyer. He said you were the worst President ever. I told him he was lying and you are my hero.

PRESIDENT BUNGLE: Do you want me to round up this fellow Sayers? 

AARON BUNGLE: He’s my best friend. Tomorrow we’ll be best friends again.

PRESIDENT BUNGLE: Well, if he’s your friend I wouldn’t like to meet your enemies. They must be pretty bad huh?

AARON BUNGLE: I keep telling them that you have to make big decisions and that not everybody will like them but we’ll all be better off because of them.

PRESIDENT BUNGLE: You’re such a great kid. Are you sure you don’t want me to round up all the Sayers people?

AARON BUNGLE: I’m sure Grandpa. Thanks for the birthday wishes. I know you can’t come to my party because you’re too busy. I know you have a lot of important decisions to make.

 


Share by: