EXT. FOREST NEAR MALACHY'S HOME - NIGHT
A wizard hastily makes his way through a forest and into a cottage.
MALACHY: Old, male, grey hair and grey beard, wears a navy robe, tall, slim.
INT. MALACHY'S HOME
He closes the door behind him. Two ghosts who look like wizards appear.
RENDELL: Old, male, mostly dark hair with streaks of grey, overweight, wearing a dark red robe and a flat hat
SALAM: Old, male, white hair, white moustache, slim, wearing a silver robe
RENDELL: What is it Malachy?
MALACHY: I cannot say.
RENDELL: Will the boy succeed?
MALACHY: Probably not.
SALAM: What about Megreth?
MALACHY: Even I am no match for Megreth
RENDELL: Is there something that you are not saying Malachy?
EXT. MEDIEVAL VILLAGE - DAY (SEVEN YEARS EARLIER)
Lorimer, runs through a village and across a field. He is chased by Orson and Relick. The boy reaches a forest where he hides and tries to suppress his breathing. The two bullies enter the forest and come to a stop. They listen. A rabbit moves near Lorimer and the pursuers can make out the shape of Lorimer through the bushes. Slowly they walk toward him. Orson, grabs him by his tunic.
ORSON: 12, strong for his age, dark hair, wearing a brown tunic
RELICK: 12, average height and build, dark hair, also wearing a brown tunic
LORIMER: 11, relatively weak, fair hair, wearing a very worn looking tunic.
ORSON: I don’t like you.
LORIMER: I don’t like me either.
ORSON: You’re weird. I’m going to make you suffer you weakling.
Orson pushes Lorimer up against a tree trunk.
ELLIOT FURSTENBURG: 11, male, tall and strong for his age, brown hair, wearing a brown tunic and dark green belt.
Elliot emerges through the trees.
ELLIOT FURSTENBURG: I’d be careful if I was you, Orson. Anything you do to him, I may do to you.
ORSON: Oh, I was just having a bit of fun. Wasn’t I Lorimer?
LORIMER: Yeah, we’re regular chums.
Orson and Relick walk away. Elliot approaches Lorrimer.
ELLIOT FURSTENBURG: I don’t know why people think you’re different. You’ve got a nose, two eyes and two ears like the rest of us.
LORIMER: I’ll be darned if I know
CUT TO:
EXT. FIELD NEAR MEDIEVAL VILLAGE - DAY
Lorimer and Elliot are walking back towards the village when they see a carriage lead in front and behind by soldiers on horseback
ELLIOT FURSTENBURG: Why that’s the princess Ophelia. She is as pretty as they say she is. When I grow up I’m going to marry her.
LORIMER: Don’t be daft Elliot. You don’t even know her. Besides, she’s a Princess and your the son of a blacksmith.
ELLIOT FURSTENBURG: My Father is the finest blacksmith in the twelve kingdoms. You leave him out of it.
LORIMER: All I’m saying is, it’s complicated. Besides. You don’t know her. She could be mean and horrible.
ELLIOT FURSTENBURG: Not from where I’m standing.
LORIMER: Princesses do not marry for love, Elliot. They marry for peace between regions. No son of a blacksmith will ever marry a Princess.
EXT. MEDIEVAL VILLAGE - NIGHT
Four boys of similar age are gathered around a fire.
RONNIE ROBINSON: 11, short dark hair, slightly overweight, average height
HERB SUTTON: 11, relatively long brown hair, average build.
RONNIE ROBINSON: I’ve heard that the old man of the woods is a wizard who casts spells on people he doesn’t like.
HERB SUTTON: I’ve heard that he eats rats. Live rats. He picks them up by the tail and eats them whole
ELLIOT FURSTENBURG: He doesn’t seem that bad to me.
HERB SUTTON: Maybe you should ask the old man to find you that beautiful princess. The one that you keep going on about.
RONNIE ROBINSON: Yeah, maybe he’ll turn you into a frog and eat you.
ELLIOT FURSTENBURG: I don’t think he’s as scary as everyone thinks he is.
HERB SUTTON: My Dad was hoping to get a gang together and burn down his house. He is a weirdo and no Sutton could ever tolerate a rat eating wizard
ELLIOT FURSTENBURG: What do you think Lorimer?
HERB SUTTON: What would Lorimer know?
LORIMER: I don’t think he is so bad. My Dad warned me about the preacher.
HERB SUTTON: That crazy old man? He’s as odd as two left feet. He drinks too much and doesn’t talk sense.
LORIMER: Well some things he says make sense to me.
RONNIE ROBINSON: Like what?
LORIMER: Once he said that the greatest man is the man with the greatest humility.
HERB SUTTON: What’s that supposed to mean?
ELLIOT FURSTENBURG: I sure hope that Malachy could give me a potion of this humility, then I would be the strongest, the quickest and unbeatable.
EXT. SHAFFELD FOREST - MORNING
Elliot follows the old man of the woods as he makes his way through the forest. The old man doesn’t turn his head.
MALACHY: What do you want boy?
ELLIOT FURSTENBURG: I just want to talk to you
MALACHY: I don’t talk to children
ELLIOT FURSTENBURG: I was hoping that you could help me. I want to marry a princess.
MALACHY: You’re just a boy.
ELLIOT FURSTENBURG: I’m not just any boy. I’m destined for great things. I know it.
MALACHY: (in an unimpressed manner) Oh yeah?
The wizard continues walking and the boy continues to follow. They enter the wizards dwelling which is filled with dust.
ELLIOT FURSTENBURG: It looks like your home is in need of a spring cleaning.
MALACHY: I’m not trying to impress anyone
ELLIOT FURSTENBURG: I’d just like some magic. Something to help me and the princess you know.. get together
MALACHY: Be careful what you wish for boy. Magic is as much of a curse as it is wonderful. I should know, I was twenty seven on my last birthday.
ELLIOT FURSTENBURG: I just want to fall in love and I will do anything for it. Princess Ophelia...
MALACHY: Everyone wants to fall in love boy. Most don’t find what they are looking for. If you help me out, at the age of eighteen, if you don’t change your mind, I will do what I can.
ELLIOT FURSTENBURG: Why would I change my mind?
MALACHY: First of all, as you say, this place could do with a sprucing up. There is no time like the present. The bench is a no go area for the time being.
CUT TO:
INT. MALACHY’S HOME - DAY
Elliot starts to dust off some of the older, dustier items. He sees a large spider.
ELLIOT FURSTENBURG: That’s a large spider. Should I kill it?
MALACHY: That’s not any spider. That’s Lufus, my pet Tarantula. If you try to kill it, it might kill you. Learn to live with it boy.
ELLIOT FURSTENBURG: My name is Elliot.
MALACHY: Whatever.
EXT. OUTSIDE MALACHY’S DWELLING - DAY
Lorimer and Herb stand behind a bush twenty yards from Malachy’s dwelling. They see Elliot outside working
LORIMER: Hey, Elliot what are you doing?
Quietly Elliot approaches them
ELLIOT FURSTENBURG: I’m helping the old man out.
LORIMER: Haven’t you heard he’s crazy
HERB SUTTON: I heard he’s a cannibal
LORIMER: Yeah, I heard he likes to cut people up and make a stew
ELLIOT FURSTENBURG: Come on guys he’s harmless
Suddenly there’s an explosion within the dwelling and a large booming voice calls out
HERB SUTTON: Run for your lives
Herb runs away as fast as he can.
LORIMER: Don’t be a fool Elliot
Lorimer turns and walks away
INT. MALACHY'S HOME - DAY
Elliot is tidying up after the explosion.
ELLIOT FURSTENBURG: Malachy, you wouldn’t cut people into tiny little pieces and eat them as a stew now would you?
MALACHY: Depends on how tasty it is.
EXT. MEDIEVAL VILLAGE - MORNING (SEVEN YEARS LATER)
It is the day of Elliot’s eighteenth birthday. He makes his way to the forest in a happy mood.
He reaches Malachy’s home and enters
ELLIOT FURSTENBURG: Malachy, today is my eighteenth birthday and you made a promise to help me.
MALACHY: Yes, I know. You’ve been telling me for the past seven years when exactly your birthday is.
ELLIOT FURSTENBURG: Isn’t it time for you to give me the magic potion that will help me marry the woman of my dreams?
MALACHY: In it’s own time.
ELLIOT FURSTENBURG: But Malachy...
MALACHY: First there is something you can do for me.
ELLIOT FURSTENBURG: I’ve already cleaned your house and gardens for the past seven years.
MALACHY: Do you want the magic potion or not?
ELLIOT FURSTENBURG: What do I have to do? I’ll do anything to marry Princess Ophelia.
MALACHY: I need you to retrieve the Unococha plant in the mountains of Ur.
ELLIOT FURSTENBURG: The mountains of Ur? That’s the one place my parents told me never to go. It’s filled with Tigers and huge flying ants and...
MALACHY: No Unococha, no deal?
ELLIOT FURSTENBURG: Just what does this plant look like?
EXT. FOREST A MILE FROM ELLIOTS VILLAGE - MORNING
Elliot is walking through the forest when he is followed by Lorimer.
LORIMER: Elliot, where are you going with your Father’s sword?
ELLIOT FURSTENBURG: The mountains of Ur
LORIMER: Are you crazy? Don’t you know the Tigers will eat you alive?
ELLIOT FURSTENBURG: Why else would I bring the sword along?
LORIMER: You’re kind of missing the point. There’s one of you against maybe two dozen tigers. And they’re hungry. I don’t fancy your chances.
ELLIOT FURSTENBURG: Well, you could come along too. I could use you as a decoy. Besides, it’s not the Tigers I’m worried about. It’s the flying rats and the giant spiders.
LORIMER: I was kind of hoping you would tell me that the old wizard had given you a magic potion that could put the Tigers into a deep sleep.
ELLIOT FURSTENBURG: You don’t think I would go to the mountains of Ur without a plan up my sleeve.
LORIMER: Plan? You don’t even have a horse. You’ll be jaded by the time you get there. Why are you even going there in the first place?
ELLIOT FURSTENBURG: Malachy needs a plant and in return he will give me the potion to find my true love.
LORIMER: Have you ever seen him perform magic.
ELLIOT FURSTENBURG: Well he did blow a lot of things up.
LORIMER: He may not even be a real wizard.
ELLIOT FURSTENBURG: Of course he’s a real wizard. He promised me to make the Princess fall under my spell. That’s good enough for me.
LORIMER: You want her to be under a spell? Don’t you think that if she loves you, then you won’t need a spell?
ELLIOT FURSTENBURG: Please don’t try and complicate things.
EXT. FOREST OF ANDALUCIA - DAY
Elliot has his back up against a tree stump and is eating raw rabbit.
ELLIOT FURSTENBURG: Lorimer, why don’t people love me?
LORIMER: What ever do you mean?
ELLIOT FURSTENBURG: I’m one of the fastest and strongest people in the village. I’m not a bad person either, so why don’t people love me?
LORIMER: I don’t know. Maybe some villagers think you’re cocky and self consumed.
ELLIOT FURSTENBURG: I’m not self consumed.
LORIMER: Well, you are going on a quest to find a potion that will put a princess under a spell so that she will love you. If that’s not self consumed, what is?
ELLIOT FURSTENBURG: I just want what’s best for me.
LORIMER: Popularity isn’t all it’s cracked up to be. Happiness comes from selfless acts, whether people appreciate them or not.
ELLIOT FURSTENBURG: Where can I find these selfless acts?
LORIMER: Under a tree I guess.
INT. ROYAL HORSE DRAWN CARRIAGE - AFTERNOON
Princess Ophelia and her aide Francesca Da Silva are being driven through the forest
Princess Ophelia: 18, female, long blond hair, blue eyes, average height, slim, attractive, well dressed and well groomed.
Francesca Da Silva: 28, female, short dark hair, brown eyes, slightly overweight, taller than average.
PRINCESS OPHELIA: Oh I do hope that Prince Leopold is as handsome as my Father says he is. I hope we have two children, a boy and a girl and I hope we share many walks along the Serpentine River and through the forest. I hope he loves music and...
FRANCESCA DA SILVA: You hope for too much my dear. You’ve got to lower your expectations. Who cares whether Prince Leopold is handsome. It is more important that there is peace between the two kingdoms
PRINCESS OPHELIA: Don’t you think I deserve to be happy?
FRANCESCA DA SILVA: Your Father is king my lady and if it is his wish that you marry Prince Leopold, then I fear that you must marry him. If there is no peace, there may not be a kingdom to govern.
PRINCESS OPHELIA: I hope that one day the time will come when women are not pawns in a man’s game but equals.
FRANCESCA DA SILVA: My lady, when you meet Leopold, try not to stare at the gap between his teeth or the large scar upon his forehead.
PRINCESS OPHELIA: I think I can tolerate a few missing teeth and scars are rather fetching...
FRANCESCA DA SILVA: If he has bad breath, try to endure it.
The carriage comes to a stop. A footman climbs down and opens the carriage door
FOOTMAN: My lady, Prince Leopold awaits.
EXT. FOREST OF ANDALUCIA - DAY
The princess steps out of her carriage. Prince Leopold has his back to her and there are a dozen soldiers surrounding him. He turns around and Princess Ophelia is unimpressed
PRINCE LEOPOLD: 29, male, dark hair and beard, slim, scar on his forehead, missing teeth, unattractive, taller than average.
PRINCE LEOPOLD: Princess Ophelia. You are as beautiful as a sunny day.
He kisses her hand
PRINCESS OPHELIA: I wish I could say the same for you.
PRINCE LEOPOLD: Many women have found my scars attractive over time. They are like badges of honour from the field of battle. It was the happiest day of my life when your Father bequeathed you to me. We can be married in two weeks
PRINCESS OPHELIA: Well let’s not rush into things. We hardly know each other.
PRINCE LEOPOLD: If your Father wants peace between our two kingdoms, this is the only way it can happen. Anything less is a declaration of war.
PRINCESS OPHELIA: To be honest, I’d rather die at war than have to bear your children
King Leopold’s twelve soldiers raise their swords
PRINCE LEOPOLD: If I can’t have you by desire, I shall have you by force.
The prince grabs the Princess and holds a knife around her throat.
The soldiers of Princess Ophelia engage with the soldiers of Prince Leopold. After the battle, four of Leopold’s soldiers remain.
PRINCE LEOPOLD: You’re coming with me Princess
Elliot and Lorimer comes into view.
ELLIOT FURSTENBURG: Unhand the Princess
PRINCE LEOPOLD: But there are only two of you and only one of you has a sword.
Lorimer returns to where he came from.
Two soldiers approach Elliot but he defeats them. The other two then fight him but he manages to defeat them also. Prince Leopold abandons the Princess and climbs onto his horse and departs.
PRINCESS OPHELIA: Thank you young man. Francesca will reward you.
Francesca leaves the carriage and hands Elliot five shillings
ELLIOT FURSTENBURG: Your gratitude is a reward in itself.
Elliot tries to flirt with the Princess but it doesn’t go well
PRINCESS OPHELIA: Francesca, why is he looking at me all funny?
FRANCESCA DA SILVA: I really don’t know my lady. I’ve never seen such a contorted expression
PRINCESS OPHELIA: Thank you young man, we must be on our way, before Prince Leopold brings reinforcements