INT. HORSE DRAWN CARRIAGE - MORNING
Princess Ophelia and Francesca Da Silva are being escorted in a carriage back to her kingdom. The carriage comes to a stop.
SOLDIER ONE: You get out here.
PRINCESS OPHELIA: But we are not even at the castle
SOLDIER ONE: Maybe it’s time you got accustomed to living like a peasant. From here, you walk. Bring your Father a message. From this day forward his kingdom is at war with ours.
PRINCESS OPHELIA: But there could be snakes or thugs or bandits..
SOLDIER ONE: That is not our problem.
EXT. FOREST OF ANDALUCIA - DAY
When Elliot awakes he can’t see a thing. He tries to feel his way around and comes to the conclusion that he is fully blind but now he believes something else has gone wrong. What he can’t see is that he has a horrendous haircut.
ELLIOT FURSTENBURG: Just great. Now I can’t see. What next?
MALACHY: Elliot, you know that if you give up, you can go back home to a normal life and forget about the Princess.
ELLIOT FURSTENBURG: She needs me. I know it.
MALACHY: Sometimes love is blind. It fools us. It sucks us in and we lose all sense of reality.
ELLIOT FURSTENBURG: Did you ever love anyone Malachy?
MALACHY: There was a sorceress I was quite fond of in my younger years but we grew apart and now we are closer to being enemies.
ELLIOT FURSTENBURG: Did she have dragon breath?
MALACHY: You encountered her then.
EXT. FOREST OF ANDALUCIA - DAY
Princess Ophelia and Francesca are walking through the forest in the direction of the kingdom
PRINCESS OPHELIA: Are you sure, you know where you’re going Francesca?
FRANCESCA DA SILVA: For the tenth time your highness, we’re headed south west. We’re going in the right direction.
PRINCESS OPHELIA; I shall have to get new shoes. These ones will not do. And my hands have become like those of a peasant girl. They’re hard and..
FRANCESCA DA SILVA: Have you not learned anything from your time in captivity?
PRINCESS OPHELIA: I guess, now I know how to scrub a floor. I don’t envy those maids but it is not the job of a Princess. What did you think I might learn?
FRANCESCA DA SILVA: Humility
PRINCESS OPHELIA: What does humility mean?
FRANCESCA DA SILVA: I should have known it wasn’t in your vocabulary. It means to put yourself last rather than first.
PRINCESS OPHELIA: Why be last when you can be first?
Two male bandits with knives tied to their waist approach.
BANDIT ONE (EDGAR RAMIREZ): 19, male, average height, brown hair, slim, wearing tattered and worn clothing
BANDIT TWO (MARV): 25, male, tall, broad, dark hair and a beard, worn clothing
BANDIT ONE: Well, fancy meeting two young ladies on a day like this
BANNDIT TWO: (referring to Francesca) This one ain’t so young
BANDIT ONE: Beggars can’t be choosers.
PRINCESS OPHELIA: Leave us alone or...
BANDIT TWO: Or what?
PRINCESS OPHELIA: Or we’ll throttle you.
BANDIT ONE: Trembling in our boots we are.
FRANCESCA DA SILVA: If you lay one hand on the Princess’ head, you’ll be in big trouble.
BANDIT ONE: Princess eh? I bet she’d fetch a nice ransom.
Elliot appears but is confused as to where the voices are coming from
ELLIOT FURSTENBURG: Unhand the princess
FRANCESCA DA SILVA: What about me?
ELLIOT FURSTENBURG: Unhand the princess and her assistant
BANDIT ONE: If I didn’t know any better then, I’d say that this man was blind.
BANDIT TWO: Threatened by a blind man. Now I’ve seen it all
Both men surround Elliot, before one of them pushes him to the ground. Elliot struggles to climb to his feet. They laugh at him
BANDIT ONE: Wait. I know this guy. Elliot Furstenburg. We were in school together at the age of eight. Do you remember me?
ELLIOT FURSTENBURG: Remember you? I can’t even see you.
BANDIT ONE: Edgar Ramirez
Edgar helps Elliot to his feet.
ELLIOT FURSTENBURG: You’re the kid who couldn’t multiply.
BANDIT ONE: Why do you think I turned to banditry. It’s more profitable than working with an abacus all day.
ELLIOT FURSTENBURG: And what were you doing, threatening these two women?
BANDIT TWO: Threatening them? No, we were just joking with them. Where did you get that haircut?
ELLIOT FURSTENBURG: My mother gave me this haircut.
BANDIT ONE: And I thought Edgar’s was well...
ELLIOT FURSTENBURG: Now that you are here, you must help us escort them back to their palace. My sense of direction ain’t what it used to be.
BANDIT ONE: Well if it’s paid labour then so be it. So tell us, what ever happened to Marion de Broomhead? She was a fine wench she was.
INT. KING WENCESLAS CASTLE DINING ROOM - DAY
KING WENCESLAS: My daughter has been missing for days. What I would do to see her returned safely to me.
RODRIGO: Sire, maybe we should post a reward?
KING WENCESLAS: Yes, a thousand, no two thousand
IMPERIAL SOLDIER: King Wenceslas, the Princess has returned, with two peasants and a blind man.
KING WENCESLAS: I want to see them hanged. Throw them in the dungeon.
EXT. KING WENCESLAS CASTLE COURTYARD - DAY
A group of soldiers surround Elliot and the bandits.
IMPERIAL SOLDIER: We are placing you three under arrest.
ELLIOT FURSTENBURG: What have we done?
PRINCESS OPHELIA: No, they rescued me.
IMPERIAL SOLDIER: Sorry Princess. I’m just following orders.
The three prisoners are lead away
INT. KING WENCESLAS CASTLE DINING ROOM - DAY
KING WENCESLAS: Ophelia, my darling, it’s great to see you again. I hope those bandits didn’t harm a hair on your head.
PRINCESS OPHELIA: No Father, they rescued me from that evil prince Leopold.
KING WENCESLAS: Well never the less, I will see them hanged.
PRINCESS OPHELIA: But Elliot is a good man. Without him I...
KING WENCESLAS: Elliot eh? What is his surname?
PRINCESS OPHELIA: Furstenburg
KING WENCESLAS: I knew it. The Furstenburgs were never any good. I am the king for good reason. I know what I’m doing.
PRINCESS OPHELIA: Please father.
KING WENCESLAS: I hear he has only one good leg, has a bad haircut and is blind as a bat. For his sake, it is better that he be hanged. I’m doing him a favour.
EXT. CHURCH GROUNDS OUTSIDE WENCESLAS CASTLE - DAY
Chesterton and Brother Abbot are walking around the church grounds.
BROTHER ABBOTT: 46, male, overweight, mostly bald, wearing a brown robe
CHESTERTON: A friend of mine referred me to you Brother Abbot. He said you’re a good listener.
BROTHER ABBOT: What is the problem, Fred
CHESTERTON: My name is not Fred. It’s Chesterton.
BROTHER ABBOT: Princess Ophelia told me your name...
CHESTERTON: This is why I’ve come to you. She’s the problem. She’s always disrespecting me in front of my peers. It makes me seem weak and it’s humiliating.
BROTHER ABBOT: There are worse things to be called. I was called Blunderpants in school. Fartface. Abbotina.
CHESTERTON: You don’t see the point Brother Abbot. I’d like to ring her neck.
BROTHER ABBOT: Ah, I see. Anger issues.
CHESTERTON: What can be done about it?
BROTHER ABBOT: For some people a ball of wool can help. You take it in your hand and squeeze it until the stress goes away.
CHESTERTON: I’ve tried that. It doesn’t work.
BROTHER ABBOT: What about music?
CHESTERTON: I hate music. Sometimes I want to take the musicians lute and bang it over his head.
BROTHER ABBOT: Then there is only one thing for it?
CHESTERTON: Ringing her neck?
BROTHER ABBOT:You must pray. Pray for the moment to present itself and then, seize your opportunity.
CHESTERTON: And I thought you were a man of god.
BROTHER ABBOT: You don’t strike me as Christian material. I cater for all needs and creeds. That’ll be a donation of two shillings for my services.
INT. KING WENCESLAS CASTLE DUNGEON - NIGHT
The Princess and Francesca enter the dungeon escorted by a guard. She comes to the cell containing Elliot and the two bandits.
PRINCESS OPHELIA: Unlock their cell
ELLIOT FURSTENBURG: Princess, we’ve got to stop meeting like this.
BANDIT ONE: Have you come to give us a reward for our services?
Francesca hands him a small bag of money.
FRANCESCA DA SILVA: Don’t spend it all at once
PRINCESS OPHELIA: I am forever in your debt Elliot Furstenburg
ELLIOT FURSTENBURG: I wish there was some circumstance where we could be bound together.
PRINCESS OPHELIA: If only you were a prince and could see.. and walk properly and better looking. Then perhaps...
BANDIT TWO: I think you’ve given him a clear picture princess. Now we better be off before we get arrested again.
PRINCESS OPHELIA: Wait. If you do go out there in those clothes, for sure, you will be arrested. We have brought monks robes. Put them on and no harm will come to you.
The men do as they are told and exit the dungeon.
GUARD: I could get into a lot of hot water for this princess.
PRINCESS OPHELIA: Don’t worry Conche if my Father beheads you I’ll make sure you get a proper funeral.
INT. KING WENCESLAS CASTLE DINING ROOM - NOON
Princess Ophelia enters the dining room.
PRINCESS OPHELIA: I’m so hungry I could eat a fried insect.
KING WENCESLAS: I’m glad to see that you have awoken from your slumber my daughter
PRINCESS OPHELIA: Father
KING WENCESLAS: Would you by any chance know how three prisoners escaped from the dungeon last night?
PRINCESS OPHELIA: It was probably the work of Aristotle
KING WENCESLAS: My most trusted adviser? I should think not. In any case it matters little as I have more than three dozen soldiers scouring the countryside for them. And when they are captured I shall crush them like...
PRINCESS OPHELIA: Can’t you pardon them? They rescued me after all.
KING WENCESLAS: That’s strange. Aristotle said they should be hanged and you said they should be pardoned. Pardoning would be seen as a sign of weakness my sweet. We wouldn’t want our subjects to think that we’d all gone soft.
PRINCESS OPHELIA: Try compassionate
KING WENCESLAS: Has something changed in you? We used to be so alike.
PRINCESS OPHELIA: Prince Leopold, made me get blisters on my hands. I wouldn’t like to be a peasant for the rest of my life.
KING WENCESLAS: I do have some good news for you Ophelia. I have found a new Prince. You have not met him before and I’m told that he is not entirely repulsive.
PRINCESS OPHELIA: How fortunate
KING WENCESLAS: His name is Prince Eduardo. With Prince Leopold dead and his brother about to engage in warfare, the sooner you get married the better.
PRINCESS OPHELIA: But Father we haven’t even met yet
KING WENCESLAS: Your Mother and I never met until our wedding day and that did not work out too badly.
PRINCESS OPHELIA: You know she detests you don’t you?
KING WENCESLAS: Well it could be worse.
EXT. FOREST OF ANDALUCIA - NIGHT
Elliot, Edgar Ramirez (Bandit One) and Marv (Bandit Two)
ELLIOT FURSTENBURG: I know Ophelia loves me. I know she does. There’s got to be a way..
BANDIT ONE (EDGAR RAMIREZ): Oh here we go again. It’s Ophelia this and Ophelia that. When you’re not tripping over tree roots or rabbit holes, Ophelia is all you can talk about.
ELLIOT FURSTENBURG: She is the love of my life. I’ve even written a poem about her. When I say written - it is forever imprinted in my mind. It goes..
BANDIT ONE (EDGAR RAMIREZ): You don’t see me chasing after a woman I cannot have.
ELLIOT FURSTENBURG: I do not understand
BANDIT ONE (EDGAR RAMIREZ): You have to play the percentages. Why waste time on a woman you will never marry when another woman who appreciates you is ripe for the picking. You agree Marv don’t you.
BANDIT TWO (MARV): Me and Lucinda have things in common. She’s not the prettiest wench but I feel as though we belong together.
BANDIT ONE (EDGAR RAMIREZ): My girl must weigh twenty stone, but I wouldn’t trade her for the world. You don’t hear me composing a poem about her. It’s time to be realistic. You’re blind. You can’t even see her. You’ve only one goodleg and a haircut that most women would run from...
BANDIT TWO/MARV: If your romance with the princess was meant to be it would have happened already. You’ve got to ask the question - Would she run through a stone wall for you? I know my girl would
ELLIOT FURSTENBURG: I see. Thank you for your advice. I know what I must do. I must go to the Princess and ask her how she feels about me. I don’t care if she puts on ten stone. I will love her till the day I die. Oh Princess O Princess. How I count the days till we next do meet. Nothing in this world compares...
Marv throws a small stone at Elliot’s body
MARV: Oh shut up.
EXT. FOREST OF ANDALUCIA - MORNING
Elliot, Marv and Edgar are about to embark the next morning
BANDIT ONE/EDGAR RAMIREZ: Elliot, are you coming?
ELLIOT FURSTENBURG: No. I must go and meet the Princess. I have to find out once and for all. Farewell gentlemen
Elliot starts to walk away
BANDIT TWO/MARV: Elliot. It’s that way
ELLIOT FURSTENBURG: Which way?
BANDIT TWO/MARV: The opposite direction you are heading in
Elliot turns around
ELLIOT FURSTENBURG: Thank you Marv. I was just testing you.
Elliot leaves and Marv and Edgar move in the opposite direction.
BANDIT ONE/EDGAR RAMIREZ: The guy doesn’t stand a chance. If the rabbit holes don’t trip him up, he’s sure to be mugged.
BANDIT TWO/MARV: What do you think they will steal from him?
EXT. OUTSIDE KING WENCESLAS CASTLE - DAY
Princess Ophelia and Francesca are exploring the gardens outside the castle walls escorted by several guards.
PRINCESS OPHELIA: Francesca, for the first time in my life I feel like I am in love. Prince Eduardo is one of the most handsome men I have ever seen. He loves music but hates poetry like me. Oh I feel such joy.
FRANCESCA DA SILVA: I have met someone too my lady
PRINCESS OPHELIA: Oh do tell
FRANCESCA DA SILVA: Melford, the servant
PRINCESS OPHELIA: Oh he’s so old and unpretty
FRANCESCA DA SILVA: Oh, I wouldn’t say that. He is one of the kindest most gentle men I have ever met. To me he is handsome in every way.
PRINCESS OPHELIA: Oh look. It’s the blind man
In the distance, Princess Ophelia can see Elliot emerging from the forest. He is stumbling his way along and collides with a tree trunk.
Princess Ophelia addresses a guard
PRINCESS OPHELIA: Please do have that man come hither
CUT TO:
EXT. OUTSIDE KING WENCESLAS CASTLE - DAY
ELLIOT FURSTENBURG: Princess Ophelia, is that you?
PRINCESS OPHELIA: Don’t you know that if my Father sees you he may have you executed?
ELLIOT FURSTENBURG: I have come back because I have to find out if we have a future together.
PRINCESS OPHELIA: Oh Elliot, you know that I cannot marry you. Even if you weren’t blind I could not marry you?
ELLIOT FURSTENBURG: Do you not love me?
PRINCESS OPHELIA: As a man who risked his life to save mine, you are a true friend. You cannot compete with Prince Eduardo. He is handsome and fit and he likes music and he is a prince.
ELLIOT FURSTENBURG: I have a poem for you
PRINCESS OPHELIA: Oh Elliot, I don’t like poetry
ELLIOT FURSTENBURG: I have in fact composed twenty seven. You could decide which is your favourite.
PRINCESS OPHELIA: I admire your courage and your heart but I am afraid that there is little else between us.
ELLIOT FURSTENBURG: We could find something. I enjoy strolling in a garden such as this. Isn’t that something?
PRINCESS OPHELIA: Oh Elliot, it isn’t enough. Now you must go quick before you are discovered.
Prince Eduardo enters surrounded by some guards
PRINCE EDUARDO: My love, who is this hideous creature and why are you entertaining him?
PRINCESS OPHELIA: Eduardo, don’t be jealous. Elliot is a mere peasant who is blind. He means nothing to me when compared with you.
PRINCE EDUARDO: Why on earth would I be jealous of a hideous creature like that. He is unlovable. You must send him away before I have him arrested.
PRINCESS OPHELIA: Guards, please escort this man back to the edge of the forest.
Elliot vanishes
PRINCE EDUARDO: What witchcraft is this? You must be careful my love not to talk to strangers. He could have been a witch in peasant’s clothing.