EXT. FOREST OF ANDALUCIA - DAY
When Elliot awakes, he finds himself lying on the forest floor. As he climbs to his feet he realises that his right leg is now lame. He sees an old man walking through the forest who looks like Malachy. He hurries after him.
ELLIOT FURSTENBURG: Malachy, Malachy
Eventually the wizard comes to a stop
ELLIOT FURSTENBURG: What have you done to me?
MALACHY: I have told you before that magic is both a gift and a curse. You have to overcome the curse to reap its benefits
ELLIOT FURSTENBURG: How am I supposed to live with only one good leg? What am I...
MALACHY: You can walk well enough. You will get used to it.
ELLIOT FURSTENBURG: This wasn’t part of the deal
MALACHY: I don’t recall there being any deal. You’d better hurry if you want to save the princess.
ELLIOT FURSTENBURG: The Princess? She’s not going to like me now.
Elliot sees a horse drawn carriage making its way through the forest. He limps his way toward it.
COACHMAN: Sire, there’s a bandit in front of us
PRINCE LEOPOLD: Run him over
COACHMAN: Yes sire
Elliot sheathes his sword and jumps to grab hold of an overhead branch before propelling himself onto the carriage. He fights with the coachman before throwing him off. Before he can turn around he is hit by an overhead branch and falls off. The carriage with no coachman comes to a stop a couple of dozen yards down the road.
CUT TO:
EXT. FOREST OF ANDALUCIA - DAY
Prince Leopold and his assistant climb out of the carriage and inspect Elliot
PRINCES LEOPOLD : Is he dead
BODYGUARD ONE: No sire, his pulse is still there. The coachman on the other hand is as dead as a doornail.
PRINCE LEOPOLD: Strap him upside down to the back of the carriage. When we get back to the castle I want to gut him up into tiny little pieces and feed him to the wolves.
INT. DUNGEON UNDER CASTLE HABERNACLE - EVENING
Elliot awakes to find himself in chains. He is in a dungeon containing eight cells, one of which he shares with and elderly man.
OLD PRISONER: When they chained you, they chained your hands to your good foot
ELLIOT FURSTENBURG: How am I supposed to move around?
OLD PRISONER: Well, you are a prisoner after all.
ELLIOT FURSTENBURG: I could eat a wild boar. How is the food in here?
OLD PRISONER: Well the drink tastes like piss water and the rat.. well it tastes like rat only with added worms.
ELLIOT FURSTENBURG: What are you in here for?
OLD PRISONER: Stealing, lying, stealing and a lot more stealing. In my world, you ain’t got it until you rob it. And you?
ELLIOT FURSTENBURG: I tried to rescue the princess and failed.
OLD PRISONER: Well I’m a failed thief if that’s any consolation
A prison guard enters the jail and points to Elliot
PRISON OFFICER: You’ll do. You’re going to fight Samba
ELLIOT FURSTENBURG: Who is Samba.
As Elliot is lead out of the prison ward, the other prisoners shout “Samba”
BEARDED PRISONER: I’d rather you than me.
Elliot is still in chains and limping.
INT. BANQUET ROOM OF HABERNACLE CASTLE - MORNING
Princess Ophelia enters the Banquet room where she is greeted by Prince Leopold who is eating breakfast.
PRINCE LEOPOLD: Did you sleep well my love?
PRINCESS OPHELIA: How can I sleep well, when I am the prisoner of the least attractive Prince in history.
PRINCE LEOPOLD: Don’t worry. Tonight when we make love you will be won over.
PRINCESS OPHELIA: That’s a vile thought.
PRINCE LEOPOLD: Otherwise I can have you thrown in the prison with rats as companions
PRINCESS OPHELIA: I fail to see the difference.
PRINCE LEOPOLD: In the meantime we have a bit of sport lined up. The lame legged man who tried to rescue you is to do battle with Samba my prized Tiger
PRINCESS OPHELIA: I don’t even know the man. He’s nothing more than a peasant
PRINCE LEOPOLD: After today, you still won’t know his name.
EXT. ROYAL COLOSSEUM HABERNACLE - AFTERNOON
Thousands of onlookers stand as Prince Leopold and Princess Ophelia take their seats in the Colosseum.
PRINCE LEOPOLD: First for an appetiser, we have the Equalatarians against Samba. The Equalatarian’s believe that everyone is equal and should be treated as such. Can you believe that? They also don’t believe in violence. They don’t have a prayer. Then it’s Samba against a bull. And finally it’s Samba against the peasant warrior. Samba wins every time
CUT TO:
EXT. ROYAL COLLISEUM HABERNACLE - AFTERNOON
PRINCE LEOPOLD: I’m not sure if Samba will be hungry after eating those Equalatarians and that bull, but he is Samba after all.
Elliot is led into the arena in shackles while the tiger feasts on what remains of the bull. Elliot is pelted with stones and mud.
PRINCESS OPHELIA: Unchain him at least.
Elliot is unchained but unarmed. In the middle of the stadium, beyond Samba is a spear stuck into the ground. Elliot’s only chance to kill the tiger is to get to the spear.
Slowly Elliot with eyes on the tiger edges toward the spear but the tiger starts to move. Elliot sprints towards the spear and the tiger sprints after him. Elliot reaches the spear and points it towards Samba as he lunges at him. It pierces the tigers neck and it is in great pain. There is a groan from the crowd.
PRINCESS OPHELIA: Don’t you think that that is enough?
PRINCE LEOPOLD: Don’t worry my sweet I have two more tigers and they haven’t eaten in two days.
CUT TO:
INT. BANQUET ROOM OF HABERNACLE CASTLE - EVENING
PRINCE LEOPOLD : Who would have known that a peasant with only one good leg could defeat three of my best tigers.
Come my lady it is now time for the earth to move.
PRINCESS OPHELIA: I wouldn’t go with you if you were the last man on earth. You had to kidnap me to get me here. You’d have to drug me to have your way with me.
PRINCE LEOPOLD: That can be arranged. But first, I shall have you thrown down into the dungeon for the night, with the rats and the convicts. They might not be so pleasant. Absence makes the heart grow fonder.
PRINCESS OPHELIA: I’ll only be thinking of ways to kill you.
INT. DUNGEON UNDER CASTLE HABERNACLE - NIGHT
Princess Ophelia is escorted into the dungeon to a plethora of wolf whistles and taunts. She is imprisoned in an otherwise unoccupied cell adjoining the cell occupied by Elliot.
ELLIOT FURSTENBURG: Do you remember me, your majesty?
PRINCESS OPHELIA: You are the peasant who rescued me from Prince Leopold a few days ago, the same guy who tried to rescue me yesterday and the guy who killed three tigers with only one good leg.
ELLIOT FURSTENBURG: I have worshipped you from the day I set eyes on you..
PRINCESS OPHELIA: Worshipped me? I think I know where this is going. You think I’m going to marry you. You a peasant with one lame leg? You’re not unpretty, but you’ve lost your marbles. I am going to marry a prince.
ELLIOT FURSTENBURG: I am not just a peasant. I am a Baron. The Baron of Furstenburg.
PRINCESS OPHELIA: If you were really a baron you would have said so before now. In any case a Princess such as I would not marry a Baron even if he had two good legs. A princess, lives in the highest castle, sleeps on the softest mattress and marries the handsomest prince. Why I bet we have absolutely nothing in common.
ELLIOT FURSTENBURG: Why I like jousting and Shooting at targets with a bow and arrow.
PRINCESS OPHELIA: You see, we are polar opposites. I like listening to music and playing Jingling.
ELLIOT FURSTENBURG: Well, I like drums
PRINCESS OPHELIA: And I like the harp. You see, we are the opposite in every way.
OLD PRISONER: Doesn’t this one give you a headache Master Elliot
ELLIOT FURSTENBURG: No Roachford, she doesn’t. Princess Ophelia, is the most beautiful, the most pleasant, the most...
OLD PRISONER: Oh, pull the other one.
ELLIOT FURSTENBURG: What are you doing there?
OLD PRISONER: I’m escaping. What does it look like I’m doing. Are you coming with me?
ELLIOT FURSTENBURG: What happens if we get caught?
OLD PRISONER: We get hanged. If we stay, we get hanged too. Don’t worry, I’ve been working on this escape plan for months.
Roachford has created a tunnel, leading from his cell.
Before Elliot departs, he approaches Princess Ophelia.
ELLIOT FURSTENBURG: If it was my dying wish right now, would you kiss me? I’d just like to know what its like to kiss the woman of my dreams. I’d like to know if there is something there.
PRINCESS OPHELIA: I wouldn’t kiss you if you were the second last man on earth.
Elliot disappears
EXT. FOREST OF ANDALUCIA - MORNING
When Elliot awakes he finds himself in the forest of Andalucia once more. This time, not only is he missing an arm but his vision is deteriorating.
ELLIOT FURSTENBURG: Not my eyes. What am I supposed to do now?
He climbs to his foot and limps off
INT. BANQUET ROOM OF HABERNACLE CASTLE - MORNING
Princess Ophelia is escorted into the banquet hall
PRINCE LEOPOLD: Now my sweet, have you softened your attitude?
PRINCESS OPHELIA: Not at all. It wasn’t pleasant but I survived.
PRINCE LEOPOLD: I have decided that the best thing to do is to put you to work. A little slave labour never killed anyone. Bertha here will ensure that you never slack off.
Behind Prince Leopold is a tall strong looking woman with a whip and a crooked smile.
CUT TO:
INT. HALL OF HABERNACLE CASTLE - MORNING
Princess Ophelia is scrubbing floors on her hands and knees.
BERTHA: Faster. Harder, Faster.
As she says this she cracks the whip against the ground.
PRINCESS OPHELIA: I don’t want to crack a nail
BERTHA: Faster, Harder.
EXT. FOREST OF ANDALUCIA - MORNING
Elliot continues walking through the forest though he is unsure of which direction to travel. He sees what he thinks is a butterfly and reaches out to it but stops himself.
ELLIOT FURSTENBURG: Lorimer is that you? Lorimer?
Lorimer appears though Elliot cannot clearly recognise him due to his blurred vision.
LORIMER: Elliot, what are you doing?
ELLIOT FURSTENBURG: I’m cursed.
LORIMER: I can see that
ELLIOT FURSTENBURG: I have to rescue the Princess.
LORIMER: Princess Ophelia? She is beyond rescuing. You should realise that by now. What you need is a well rounded woman. A woman who isn’t picky and choosy whether her husband has an arm or a leg or not. Settle down. Leave the Princess to the Prince. Besides, your blurred vision could come in handy.
ELLIOT FURSTENBURG: I can’t
LORIMER: You have no chance of defeating Prince Leopold and no chance of winning the Princess’s affection.
ELLIOT FURSTENBURG: I’ve got to try.
LORIMER: Don’t waste your energy on a spoilt, conceited woman, who could do with a good....
ELLIOT FURSTENBURG: Princess Ophelia is a gift from the heavens.
LORIMER: Well, I could point you in the direction of a few women who are more than enthusiastic when it comes to men with lame legs and big egos.
ELLIOT FURSTENBURG: Which way is it?
LORIMER: I never did have a great sense of direction.
ELLIOT FURSTENBURG: I’ll go this way.
(before changing direction)
Or this way. There’s no time to waste if I’m to save the princess. Thank you for nothing.
EXT. ROYAL CHURCH OF HABERNACLE - DAY
PRINCESS OPHELIA: I will never marry you
PRINCE LEOPOLD: My dear, you don’t have a choice. It’s your destiny. My soldiers outnumber those of your father by three to one. If you don’t it could be a massacre. You don’t want that do you?
PRINCESS OPHELIA: I’d rather die a noble death than be wed to a snake
PRINCE LEOPOLD: The priest is coming. Don’t embarrass me in front of him and my friends and relatives. Be a good sport.
PRIEST: Prince Leopold and eh..
PRINCE LEOPOLD: Ophelia
PRIEST : Before we start, does anybody know of any reason why the happy couple may not be wed?
PRINCESS OPHELIA: Happy? I’m not happy
Elliot shouts from the balcony.
ELLIOT FURSTENBURG: I object. She does not love him
PRIEST: Love? What has love got to do with marriage?
PRINCE LEOPOLD: Carry on priest
Some soldiers confront Elliot and he fights with them.
PRIEST: Do you Ophelia, take Leopold in matrimony, to have and to hold, to cherish until death do you part?
PRINCESS OPHELIA: No. I don’t
PRINCE LEOPOLD: She’s a woman. Yes means no and no means yes. Carry on.
Priest: Do you Leopold..
PRINCE LEOPOLD: Yes, Yes I do.
PRIEST: I now declare you husband and wife.
ELLIOT FURSTENBURG: Wait
Elliot, swings a whip at a chandelier and swings from it. He then falls on top of some soldiers.
PRINCES LEOPOLD: You are surrounded and outnumbered. Your situation is hopeless.
ELLIOT FURSTENBURG: I offer you a fight until the death.
PRINCE LEOPOLD: And what would I have to gain by that. I am already married.
ELLIOT FURSTENBURG: Have you signed the documentation?
PRINCE LEOPOLD: Of course not
ELLIOT FURSTENBURG: Then you are not legally married
PRINCESS OPHELIA: He has a point
PRINCE LEOPOLD: You’re as good as dead anyway.
ELLIOT FURSTENBURG: What’s wrong. Are you chicken? Against a man with blurred vision and one good leg
PRINCE LEOPOLD: Blurred vision eh?
PRINCES LEOPOLD: What happens if you win?
ELLIOT FURSTENBURG: The Princess goes free
PRINCE LEOPOLD: It doesn’t sound like much of a deal, but I always did fancy my chances against a one legged man.
Prince Leopold unsheathes his sword
PRIEST: Please - not in the church
PRINCE LEOPOLD: Let’s take it outside shall we? After you.
The Prince trips Elliot with his sword and Elliot falls to the ground.
PRINCE LEOPOLD: This should be the shortest fight of my life.
EXT. OUTSIDE HABERNACLE CHURCH - DAY
Prince Leopold whispers in a soldiers ear and the soldier goes away.
PRINCE LEOPOLD: I must wait until my soldiers return
CUT TO:
The soldier returns and hands him a small bag.
PRINCE LEOPOLD: Now we can begin.
He takes the bag and empties it into his right hand. It is a bag full of dust. He throws it in Elliots face.
PRINCE LEOPOLD: Nobody mentioned anything about rules.
Elliot can’t see at all and tries to take the dust from his eye. At the same time Leopold attacks him from behind.
PRINCESS OPHELIA: Elliot, watch your back
Elliot swings around and deflects the lunge from the prince. The prince circles Elliot again but Elliot now has partial sight. They fight until eventually Elliot pierces Leopold in the stomach.
Prince Leopold lies in pain on his back
PRINCE LEOPOLD: My sweet, kiss me one last time as my dying wish.
ELLIOT FURSTENBURG: I’m not going to kiss you
PRINCE LEOPOLD: I meant the Princess you fool
PRINCESS OPHELIA: I wouldn’t kiss you in a thousand years.
PRINCE LEOPOLD: I don’t think I’m going to last a thousand years darling.
Prince Leopold dies.
Prince Caspar approaches and stands over the body.
PRINCE CASPAR: Arrest this man and throw him in the dungeon
SOLDIER ONE: And the princess, Prince Caspar?
PRINCE CASPAR: She shall be returned to her father in time and we shall declare war on his kingdom.
Elliot is punched in the head and rendered unconscious.
INT. DUNGEON UNDER CASTLE HABERNACLE - EVENING
Elliot awakes in prison. He is sharing a cell with a teenage boy who also appears to be an invalid.
HATAR: Both my legs were taken from me.
What happened to you?
ELLIOT FURSTENBURG; It’s a curse
HATAR: Most people don’t want to talk about it. I got bitten by a snake on both legs. The doctor said, he would have to amputate. I’m lucky to be alive.
ELLIOT FURSTENBURG: You call, having no legs lucky?
HATAR: No, mister, I call being alive lucky.
ELLIOT FURSTENBURG: If you’re so lucky, what did they throw you in prison for?
HATAR: Stealing
ELLIOT FURSTENBURG: Were you hoping to make a quick getaway, with two wooden legs?
HATAR: I didn’t say I did it, mister.
ELLIOT FURSTENBURG: You can call me Elliot
HATAR: And you can call me Hatar
Princess Ophelia enters the dungeon to a cacophony of wolf whistles surrounded by four guards.
PRINCESS OPHELIA: Elliot, I would like to thank you before I leave.
ELLIOT FURSTENBURG: There’s nothing to thank me for. I’ve been in love with you since I first laid eyes on you.
PRINCESS OPHELIA: Oh, Elliot, don’t be so naive. A princess and a pauper can never marry.
ELLIOT FURSTENBURG: At least, kiss me once.
PRINCESS OPHELIA: Oh, Elliot. Do you expect the earth to move with one kiss? I think it’s great what you did, but we can never be.
Princess Ophelia turns and walks away surrounded by guards.
HATAR: That was Princess Ophelia, wasn’t it? How do you know her?
ELLIOT FURSTENBUR: I saved her life a couple of times.
HATAR: Why aren’t you happy then?
ELLIOT FURSTENBURG: ecause I desperately want something that can never be.
HATAR: Maybe you should lower your expectations. You could do with a well rounded woman. Maybe someone who is also a good cook and...
ELLIOT FURSTENBURG: Yes, yes I know. I’ve heard this all before.
HATAR: You have a lot to be thankful for. What I would give for one good leg.